Why does pain have to hurt so deep? Why does love touch your skin so gently and entwine every fiber of your being? Why is it that on a clear day our minds are clouded with memories of yesterday?

I was clearing out yesterdays memories when I came across a box of thoughts of you. Inside were thoughts of you and and bottle of your scent. I sprayed it all over the house and there you were again. You sat on my lap and hugged me. We talked for hours in each others arms. I remembered that long snowy walk down main street when you wore my hat. Pulling you up so close and kissing your warm lips. I miss you baby. At times I am sad but mostly I'm just alone. I never thought I would miss you so much.

I've been sitting here smelling you in my memories. There is a calmness that passes over me just knowing that once I knew you. I still think that there was something more there for us but I guess that is all there will be. That is the best it will ever be but there will be more for me. I hope life has a better place for you.

I flow in life with the streams of my tears. I now know that when I cry harder I am farther from you; when I am calm you are in my arms. I no longer need words because I can feel it in a touch. You can say what you want but I know... I just don't know why. Why is no longer a matter; I follow my life.

I no longer expect honesty from anyone; I rely on myself. A tainted life but mine...

No more lovers, no more friends, no more conflicts. No more turns or trust. I miss real people.

I was looking for a friend but I found you. I opened my heart and found out my heart. You took the pure love and sacrificed it for your own needs. Now I wait but not for you; I wait for love. I'm just not sure I will see it when she comes.