The first few lines of this song say it all.

I thought of you today as I walked alone. The rain feel around me but when it came to you a gentle drop of rain fell upon my cheek and mixed with my tears and I was lost again.

No one said it would be easy but no one said it was going to be this hard. I just want to breathe before I take another step. I can't help but to walk away but what is going to happen when I continue to want to walk back to the beautiful person I had to leave behind? I find myself holding one foot in place as I look around for my love. As she walks by without any notice of me, I melt like summer snow in the middle of winter. My heart melts at the thought of her and then I grow cold as an Alaskan tundra. The wind blows memories across my mind as I swim in snow angels to find the burning heart I left behind.

I reach out and stretch forth my hand. My finger tips touched yours and I failed to grip an already limp hand. In the past you called for help and every time I reached out but you let go. I wonder what it is going to feel like when I don't reach out the next time. My phone is open to everyone but my heart is closed thanks to my last try at love.

I only wanted to give you a life time of love. Sorry I disappointed you but I will never stop loving you.

Madness drives an insane world sane.

I thought this time would be different but today it feels the same. No thought or question about how I feel about the situation; a jump track and run like hell was again the maneuver. Kitten left me almost two years ago and it shattered my world and now again I lost love. I know I have Lily but that is a different kind of love all together.

Maybe it would be better if I just stayed to myself. No more hopes of losing another love. No more reaching out when they need you; forgetting that you have needs. Maybe it's better that one goes it alone so that others can be happy.

My mother taught me it is better to love and lose; my father taught me it is best to be alone and except it. I am tending to believe in my father. I know I don't show it all that well but I am a loving soul. I come off as a bad ass but I am a loving and caring person. My mother knows my heart and would thrash me for even thinking about not nurturing love and new hope. She also knows when it is time to give up.

I picked this version of the song because that is what life sounds like in my mind, I love it and hate it at the same time. I know what everyone wants and I do my best to give it to them. They begin to see my madness and think I am crazy but it was them that bought me here. I followed their leads and yet I found them behind me.

So now I shake them off, tell them to figure it out on their own and push off. I love them but enough is enough and I need time to go away from that man.

Today life is rather simple. I am finishing off my week-end and making chili for work tonight. I make chili from time to time for the friends I work with, just to let them know I appreciate all they do. I think at times people lose sight of how important they are in another persons life. I am sure there are people right now that I work with that do not realize the joy I get from just knowing they are there.

It is almost sad to think that people, myself included, get so bogged down in their daily grind that they miss the smile that is given them when they walk into a room. The gentle hand that touches their shoulder when they are down is so often missed. So there are times in life when we have to make a special effort to let the people we care about know that they really do make a difference.

Today I am feeling a little down. I have been trying to say something but the words escape my mouth. So let's go back to Pink to bring the message through.



I am lost and wanting. I fell today but I want to get up once again. I want to feel the freedom on my face and in the palms of my hands. I no longer want to be alone; I feel you walking next to me and holding my hand. No more am I alone, we walk as one. I love you.

I will let the songs tell my day. If you don't want to watch than don't.


I am no longer a brick. I am a stone that keeps rolling on. I remember the brick, the pain of the chisel and each thrust it laid on my soul. Today I want to be free and you allow me to feel the wind on all sides and give me happiness. I feel freedom as you release me. Today, I am no longer one I am many.